Thursday, August 26, 2010

Up and Down

Ups and Downs of weight loss. Is it normal or not normal?

I think for most it is normal. It is something that every person trying to lose weight goes through and for some they never recover.

I remember when I was a teenager I joined weight watchers at my moms school, we would meet after school. There were bunch of us about 15 men and women and I was one of 3 people who reached there goal weight. I was so happy.

It didn't take long for me once I was out of the program that I started to put the weight back on. Weight loss programs are great when you are going through the battle to lose the weight but once you have reached your goals then boom they turn there back on you. They disappear, gone in a flash.

So once again I put all the weight back on and now I was pregnant with my first child. For most overweight women it is also alot harder to lose the weight let alone any baby weight you have gained. So here I was after my baby was born at a even higher weight than before. So back to the drawing board and another weight loss clinic. This time I went with my mom and her friend. Once again I was the one to lose the weight I didn't reach my goal but I was the closest.

I told you that the last 2 times I went with my mom to these programs and the funny thing about that is my mom is 5 feet if that and weighs soaking wet 120. Yet here I am 5'2 and weighing over 200 pounds. I had to live with my mom complaining all these years how FAT she was. Really come on now. She would constantly complain and still to this day. She would never understand how hurtful and upset she would make me feel by saying that to me.

I am now at my largest weight and my friend was starting a new weight loss program and suggested I come with her. I had always been to weight watchers. So I decided to come with her and for the first few weeks I was doing good but I just wasn't ready or into it, so I quit and then come to find out im pregnant again. Luckily with this pregnancy I did not put on alot of weight so once I had him it wasn't as hard to take off. Unfortunately I didn't take off anymore than the pregnancy weight. 3 years go by and im married and number 3 baby is on the way. I've maintained my weight pretty much over the years not really going up or down.

Then the divorce comes and some very unfortunate situations happen in my life and my way of dealing with it is eating and eating. So the weight piles on and of course if you have ever been an overweight person you know how hard it is to take off the weight but how easy it is to put back on. It's like I can look at a chocolate bar and I gain 5 pounds.

So between 2007 and 2009 im fluctuating between 250-260 pounds and I had never ever been past 250 and I was struggling over the years with this but still wasnt ready to do anything about it, fix the problem. Until Dec 2009 and Jan 2010 when I was given the opportunity of a lifetime and became very sick.

From Jan 2010 til July 2010 I have lost 65 pounds but I am at a stand still I am stuck, actually I am at my up and down point. I jump daily from 1 pound up 2 down 2 up 1 down its a freaking roller coaster of weight loss and it's so annoying and frusterating. I no it's normal and I no I will get past this hump.

The funny thing is that everyone of late has been complimenting me on how good I look, have I lost some more weight. I tell them no, my friend says have I checked my measurements lately because you are looking so good. So I don't know if my scale is wrong and my measuring tape is wrong or my friends need glasses but whatever it is I thank them and accept all the compliments.

The one thing I no for sure whether or not I jump u p a pound or two or drop down a pound or two this time I will not give up like I have in the past. I am determined to meet my goal weight and keep it off. I definately needed this kick in the pants and reality check.

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